It was a tough decision where to
spend New Year's eve. For many, this is a night to party it up,
but, as I said, I am such an old fart that I chose, instead, to go to a
quiet, rustic, fishing village
named Pattaya. I mean, Bangkok is probably a pretty seedy, sleazy
place to spend New Year's eve, right? Hopefully some of you are
getting a little suspicious by now, but for those of you who aren't ...
yes, I took a two hour bus to the quiet,
rustic, fishing village of Pattaya, but it wasn't there, it had
been replaced by something else ... something wonderful. OK,
enough of this ... I have seen some incredible things: The Taj
Mahal, El Capitan, Niagra Falls, Angkor Wat, The Grand Canyon ... all
are now boring - nothing. If you really want to see the most
truly incredible sight of your life, you must goto Pattaya, Thailand,
on
New Years Eve (it couldn't possibly be that amazing all year round,
could it?).
For those of you who still don't know, Pattaya is the legendary sex
capitol of Thailand ... aka, of the world. A place where
something like 50,000 bargirls are working every night, and that
doesn't include street walkers, hostesses, waitresses, and all of the
other women. I have been to Fortaleza in Brazil and witnessed the
"scene" there. I have been to Rio De Janiero as well, and to
several other places with reputations for having a "scene". Well,
Pattaya is like 20 Fortalezas.
So during the day Pattaya has a fairly nice beach (actually a bit
polluted, but
after Laos I wanted a swim, click for photo),
and it was nice just hanging out in the sun, in shorts and no shirt
(Screw
you Laos, and Cambodia with your damn long pants bullshit!). (Click for a video of the boardwalk in
Pattaya) I spent a very energetic night of drinking,
and met
some really funny and interesting guys. Everything from fat,
disgusting guys there to get women who they could never get in their
own country (and probably paying quite a bit) to really cool guys who
also were having the time of their life. I met this British guy
and after a few beers, and a lecture on how the USA should come back to
the British commoweath and kneel before The Queen, he proclaimed me as
the "only cool American" he had ever met. He came to Pattaya two
years ago and simply never left - he fell in love with a bargirl and
now probably has to spend every night watching her like a hawk so as to
avoid some greasy ... (what nationality is not on this list ... maybe
no Germans) ... some greasy German guy putting his filthy hands all
over her. Sounds like a bad idea to fall in love with a Pattaya
bargirl. I met a German builder, an Australian miner who bought
beers for me, and many
more funny guys having a blast.
Yes, even I was amazed at the pure scale of the place, and just how
many truly beautiful women are collected in one place. Every door
you peek in is another gogo club with women naked dancing on tables,
with gawking foreigners having a blast, drunk on quite overpriced
beers. In my opinion it is kind of a lame scene though, as you
can
really tell the girls are just money making machines - nothing
more. Also, every bar is totally lame in that they have jacked up
prices for beers, and even worse, if you buy a beer for a girl (and all
they do is bug you to do this) you get charged "lady prices" - aka, you
pay two or three times as much for the same thing you are
drinking. But is is still cheaper and probably alot more fun
than, say, a German bar - I haven't been to Germany, but I just have a
feeling on this one.
The place was especially charged for New Year's Eve, and was great
fun. I got a bit too drunk, but that was to be expected.
Also, this night in Pattaya has some other significance ... I have a
new claim to fame. I am now (perhaps) the only Western male
tourist to actually leave Pattaya with more money than I came
with. How did I accomplish this? Only a few of you have the
type of security clearence needed for this, for the rest of you ... too
bad.
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